Do You Really Feel Happy

Today, as I drove my car to get my brother from school I suddenly have some thought about something and one major question came to my mind

"AM I HAPPY NOW?"

and then I realised that I don't think I am happy right now.
I may be laughing around and being happy but the truth is
I don't think I feel happy right now.

I don't think I am happy right now.
Why is that?
What is that?
I have family who loves me to death
I have friends who care
I have friends who can make me laugh
I have friends who know what to say at the right time

So, why am I not happy?
Why?
This is some serious question to be answered.

For You

2013, the year full of hopes

New hopes, new dreams, new goals

Honestly, I have nothing new

I didn't have new hopes

I didn't have new dreams

Nor did I have new goals.

I am just me

The one who don't talk much

The awkward one

The one who cared too much

When you...

Its been long since I first cared

Its been years since I first cared

But of course, who am I for you to even notice

It happened many times

...and I feel like I am used to it

But sometimes my self-esteem just crushed bit-by-bit

Because you left me hanging to think 'Did I do something wrong?'

'Did I say something wrong?' 'Why did everyone do this to me?'

'Am I annoying?'

All sort of questions come to mind

You might not see it, people might not see it

My friends might not see it

My close friends might not see it

But, I know. I know my insecurities.

It just hurts

When you tried so hard

When you tried to help

When you tried to care

But, people just don't notice

It hurts when I tried

It hurts when I did

It hurts when you didn't even try

Try to say 'Thank you'

It hurts the most when I care but you don't

Don't even reply.

Love,

Marl

To The Owner of Honda Accord Living at SS7 Condo

I apologize for the sudden-brake

I apologize for the sudden-brake

I apologize for thinking that you are a road bully

I apologize for thinking so negatively about you

I apologize

I then realised that you did all that to let me know that my headlights were not ON!

again.. I apologize!

(I really do hope this message gets to you)

Sincerely,
The owner of the White Saga

Invisible

For years I've been living
Never have I ever had felt
Felt like I'm flying across
Across the sky, smiling

From short to long
I thought it was enough
From rough to soft
I thought it was enough

I'm passing by one-to-one
I'm standing side-by-side
I'm smiling softly, with hope
That I am noticed

The leader, I am
The friend, I am
The listener, I am
The lover, I am not

Questions keep bugging my mind
What is there that is left?
My physique?
or they are intimidated?

p/s: I am currently emotionally unstable. Don't mind all these~

My Last Night's Dream.

My Last Night’s Dream

It has been five years since we have known each other

We are friends, we are buddies, we are each other’s back

We have never knew that this would happen

But, it happened.

On 19^th July 2012

You invited all of your friends

To your old-shack home

Including your beloved girlfriend

We were laughing and giggling

We were all happy

You and I sat beside one another

Within all the happiness that’s happening at that moment, something just clicked.

Our eyes suddenly met

You were looking into my eyes and I was looking into your eyes

The laughter was still there but we know that something just happened

And it was something magical.

Firework sparks fly

The stars were glazing bright

The moon was beautifully-round

And our hearts just say “Hi”

No one realizes this was happening

But the devil in the shack noticed it all

She was your mom

You walked me to the door

We did not say a word

But inside, we were both smiling

I asked “What has just happened” just to break the ice

And you said “I think I’m in love”

The devil called your name

Asking you to serve the other guests

She walked towards me and said

“I know what’s happening. He has a girlfriend and it is best for you to just back-off”

It was not a surprised

I can feel my heart crumbling inside

He knew something was going on

He looked at me

My eyes start to tears

My heart was racing

My body starts paralyzing

And he came

He said “What did she say?”

I could not respond instead I ran off

He was standing with so many thoughts in his head

And his beloved girlfriend stood beside him knew something was up

Between you and I.

P/s: This really was my dream last night. I am not even kidding. This can be the most romantic thing ever or the saddest thing ever. 

Some people say that dreams come from somewhere either from the future or the past. What would this one be? Where is it from? The future or the past? 

Love,

Marl

Make Up Your Mind, Buddy!

They are all sorts of people you will meet in this world. They are bad ones, good ones, manipulative ones, opportunist ones etc. You will come across these type of people at least once in your life and that I can assure you.

Sometimes you are denying that you are surrounded by these people but the fact is, YOU ARE SURROUNDED by them. You just have to accept the fact. Sometimes, they are one of your close friends, sometimes they are one of your teamates, and sometimes they are even someone who you have trusted to be the most sincere amongst others. You just have to accept that there are the other side of that particular person.

Perhaps, the person is just someone who is so hungry of attention or it may be of some other reasons.

It is my utmost 'PANTANG' that when I have decided something I would have to stay true to my decision and keep my promise. There is NO turning back to my decision. That is why it is so crucial to THINK before you DECIDE. That is why people always say that you better think twice or even trice before you say something to other people. That is why people always say that you better be careful of what you will decide and you better be ready to face all consequences that will follow upon deciding.

When you say A, you are expected to do, act, keep you promises about A. You are not expected to act otherwise. You are NOT EXPECTED to act backwards that is to do whatever you DID before. You are not expected to take a step back! Look forward and look forward and go to that direction.

Do not act as though you are an innocent creature who knows nothing and comes back when NOBODY expects you to come back. It is very very frustrating to see the one person who I respect, once, is the person who walk backwards and not forward.

Just an advice, PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND ONCE YOU HAVE, PLEASE STAY TRUE TO YOUR DECISION AND NEVER LOOK BACK! 

My Mom Says...

"Tak sabar nak tunggu Marlysa betunang"

in English

"I can't wait for Marlysa to get engaged"

p/s: and I am screwed!

What's With Your Arrogance?

There is ups and downs in life.

You are not always at the top and you will fall to the bottom of the 'food chain' eventually if not now maybe later. You will experience your downs somehow somewhere. The thing about life is that it will always tests the ones who are arrogant by giving them the goodness in life first before dragging them down the road to the most horrifying place where they will realise that they are not the best and there are people who are better than them.

I have not always understood people who are arrogant and snobbish. I see no point of being such due to the fact that you will never know what the other persons are capable of. They might be better than you in one if not all aspects in life. There must be something that they are better than you. Therefore, being arrogant and snobbish is not the way.

You will have to teach yourselves to the humble and down-to-earth most of the time. Yes, I did not say all the time because there are circumstances in life where you do have to act snobbish and arrogant. When? You will know when to use it when the time comes.

I have one thing that I am not in favour of that is person who is acting like they know everything but in fact they do not even understand what they are talking about. Never had the guts to ask. Never had the intention to learn and never had the urge to be intellectual. This is what we call, in Malay language, as Bodoh Sombong. 'Bodoh' is Stupid and 'sombong' is snobbish. It means someone who do not know anything but acts as though he knows everything and do not have the guts to ask questions. In addition to that, they are very very arrogant.

Another type of arrogant is when the person is having so much fun and joy flattering their titles to others. For example, he had just become an important person to a company and little he know about the actual fact on running a company, he showed-off to everyone about his role in the company, for example, a Managing Director. There is no need to show-off your title when you just got it.

Apart from that, when you are involved or about to get involved in a business or you are dealing with experienced persons, you, as the new kid, must be humble. You are not allowed (the rule) to talk BIG! You are not allowed to show your attitude as though you know everything about business. You are dealing with persons who have years of experience, a degree in business and an experienced accountant. You possess no bragging rights whatsoever.

I called these new people who are getting themselves involved in business as 'chicks which had just came out from hatched eggs'. You are THAT new. Therefore, you did not have the bragging rights. What you have is the game card to impress these people. Impress them, catch their intention, make business, make money and then bragging rights will come in. Even with all that, arrogance will not bring you far.

STOP being so arrogant and STOP being snobbish. STOP being the person who allegedly 'knows it all'. Just STOP! You are not bringing any good to yourself or other people. You are just wasting your time!

Love,
Marl

Get Ready to Pack

I would say this year is the year where I travel most. I've been to so many different places in one year and that is my first step in becoming the TRAVELER!

I've been to places which I have not imagined myself going. I've been to places where I have dreamed of going. I've been to places where I've been for so many times and I've been to places where taught me a lot about life.

I have said this in my many posts. I have repeated this a lot of times that I love travelling. Travelling is my one medium that keeps me sane. I am grateful that my family loves travelling as well and I could say that my parents trained me to be as such person. It all comes from how you were educated at home, right?

I am going off to another place tomorrow. Place where I have been to once and going again for the second time. Yes, I am excited but I know what to expect when I am there. I know how it is there and I know how is the people there. So, there should not be any hardship to adjust and adapt to the whole situation.

I would really like to go to someplace where I have never been to and I have no idea what to expect just like when I went to India. I did not have the experience being in India and I have no idea what to expect to happen there. So, I can just whack everything up. LOL. India has taught me a lot about life and I will never forget the experience. If God permits, I really want to go back to India to experience the life, culture, scenery of India. It was a priceless experience.

Apart from that,

My point for this post is in fact, I am not in the mood to pack my stuff. I was excited, I am excited but I am just not in the mood to do the packing and stuff. I have not even list down things to bring which is my normal routine every time I am travelling somewhere, oversea.

Going to have to get the mood now.

Love,
Marl

Why Is My Life-Graph Going Downwards?

As I read my previous posts, I realised that my English, previously, was better than my English now.

Why is this happening?