I Miss Him!

I MISS MY BROTHER SO MUCH!

SERIOUSLY MISS HIM!

I USUALLY DON'T SAY THIS..

BUT I REALLY DO MISS HIM

IT HAS BEEN 2 WEEKS SINCE I'M HOME

AND IT IS GOING TO BE 4 WEEKS

CAUSE I CAN'T GO HOME THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK.

HAKIM, I MISS YOU!

I'LL CALL YOU TONIGHT!!!

LOVE!

When You Yourself Fails.

It's hard for me to accept failure. That is the nature of me. I am the kind of person that will NOT take losing lightly. Especially when the thing that I lost at is the kind of thing that I used to win it. It will affect me really really badly. I know that we have to accept what ever that is given to us. But, this one I can't let it go. Even after 3 days, I can't still let it go away. Many of my friends questioned me why can't I let it go and I, honestly don't have the answers for that. It is within me. Easy way to say, IT IS INDESCRIBABLE. I know some of you might not understand my situation and some might say that I took this too seriously. Well, you are right. I do take this thing seriously cause I know that it is the one place that I can be recognised. Attention seeker is not me. But, yes it does feel good when people know you.

Frustration is another thing that slowed me down these few days. Frustration upon myself is the worse thing this week. The feeling of guilt is all over me these past two days. Guilt is a dangerous feeling for me cause somehow it affects people pretty seriously. Honestly, I FELT GUILTY that day. Thus, I became fragile at that moment. As soon as I lost the game, the feeling of guilt started to go all around me. Its like a monster coming towards me and said to my face that it is all my fault. Not just because of goals but because of other things. There are a-lot of things that go through my mind the moment I lost the game. Not just guilt from losing but other guilts. Some might say that I became really fragile at that time because I was worried for my reputation. Well, yes for a moment. Who don't? My reputation is out of the window as soon as people see 3 goals in one match. That is NOT a good record. Sorry coach, I let you down. My reputation before this was one goal for the whole tournament. That's how bad my performance for the last two days. 4 goals a day and that was not even until the semi-finals.

I do admit that I felt the burden all over me. But, that is normal. People put high hopes on you. People expect you can do your job well. People expect that you are the best. There are lots of expectations that I have to live up to and sadly, I did not managed to keep up to that. How frustrated do you think I will be at the time? No one can describe that. Some people might know the reason why I became so fragile that day, even I don't know the true reason. Fragile here is CRY! Yes, it is hard to see me cry but when I do, people will not know how to react.

What ever it is, I do hope that this will all go away. Its hard when me myself doesn't feel comfortable with my own self. So, please God! Help~

LOVE,

MARL~

:'(

RASA NAK NANGIS LAGI~~

Frustration Can Kill?

We can talk about frustration all day long. There are many kinds of frustration that we can talk about. And can frustration kill? We can kill frustration by distracting ourselves with other things but frustration can also kill people. It is an unseen weapon that is used by any other means.

We hear a-lot about love frustration. Most of the time, frustration that caused by love can kill people. They get really frustrated and that will kill their interest in living. They will give up pretty easily. There is when suicide happens. Frustration.

Frustration with yourself caused by your educations. Due to many things actually.

And now, I have no other ideas to put up for this frustration thing. So, I am not going to continue this entry. I need to stop now before I write stupid stuff.

Love,

MARL!

And We Escaped...Again

It is nearly a month or less we managed to escape from presenting our forum for class BEL 332. We were supposed to be Group 4 but unfortunately, we didn't make it due to health problems. Should I mention who? LOL! nahhhh.. Ok! Then, we should continue the next week that is the week before the holiday. And guess again.. We Escaped and again..health issues. We have been delaying it for 2 weeks now. Plus the week of holiday that makes it three weeks.

Then again, we were supposed to present TODAY! Guess again. WE ESCAPED from this one. The reason? Not health issues but car issues by our lecturer. So, we managed to escape from presenting the forum. What next? TOMORROW then. I hope that we can present it tomorrow or even NOT at all. Just gain the marks for free, I hope! But, we all know that thats NOT gonna happen.

So, we just have to wait for tomorrow then. The last group for forum. Hope it will be a blast to all and to us. Most importantly to our lecturer.

Love,

MARL!

Me.Now.

You've been living for 19 years, 6 months, and 11 days.
Find your exact age
You were born on a Monday.
What does your day of birth say about you?
Your date of conception was probably 23rd April 1990.
You've seen 5 leap years.
Your Zodiac Sign is Capricorn.
Click here to view your Zodiac Profile
Your Chinese Zodiac Sign is Horse.
Click here to view your Chinese Zodiac Profile
Your Ruling Planet is Saturn.
What does your ruling planet say about you?
Your Birthstone is Garnet.
What does your Birthstone say about you?
Your Birth Flower is Carnation.
What does your Birth Flower say about you?
Your Birth Tree is Elm Tree.
Your Birth Number is 8.
Find out the meaning of your Birth Number
Time till your next Birthday 172 days 7 hours 11 mins.
Birthday Countdown
Your Lucky Color is Brown or Green.
Your Lucky Day is Saturday.
Your Lucky Number is Eight.

Everybody has Secrets...And I Mean Dark.

Everybody has secrets. Secrets that can no one knows. I know everyone does have that. If you do not have those bad dark secrets. Make one now!

There are some people that I assume tell other people that they will tell anything to his/her friend. Everything. Her/His dark bad secrets. I do mean anything. But, I believe that there are some thing that cannot be shared with anyone. What is..? Even I cannot answer that. I already said that everyone has bad and dark secrets. Secrets that you can't even tell your parents even worse your friends.

Even though there are people that tell everything to another, they will end up losing each other's trust. I saw this before. At the end, they not just lose their trust, they even lose their friendship because of secrets that can bring harm to us back. As I said, there are some things that we can't even share it with people. Secrets that need to be kept to yourself.

I believe that Dark and Bad secrets can only bring harm to ourself. That is why it is call as bad and dark secrets. If it's good and white secrets. Fine then! But, this one. No! You are not allowed to share it with anyone. I do mean anyone. Just keep it to yourself. Trust is one thing but still, some you just have to keep it to yourself.

People like to feel like they have friends who they can trust. I am not saying that we cannot trust anyone. But, there is a limit to everything. Put a limit to yourself on how much you want your close friends to know. Put a limit to yourself on how much you want your family to know. You need those limits. Don't deny it because it is true no matter what. Don't ever try to deny it because you might not see it now but you will see in later. Trust me.

Love,

MARL!

Almost 300 Posts

This is my 291st Posts since I have Blogger.

Yay!

Another 9 posts to 300!

Making progress!

I hope that what ever that I have written somehow will give inspirations to others!

Promise That Can Never Be Kept

Hey peeps,

How are you? I am doing just fine here. Holiday almost ends. For most, it ends tomorrow. For me, it ends on Monday. I am going back to Kuantan on Monday and right after that I am going to have my first class with Madam Farah in this semester. Yes! Madam Farah is back in campus! yay! Is it a "yay" or an "oh" or even "why?". I don't know. We got really comfortable with Mr. Syahril now. Really Really comfortable. Cause he is a good lecturer/tutor. No Doubt about it. But, it might get a little troublesome for us cause if we continue to learn from him, we might not be as independent as we are in Madam Farah's class. He might say that he did't spoon feed us but indirectly he did. It is totally different from the way Madam Farah conducted her class. You are on YOUR own. She is not going to give you everything. And her assignment can really get on your nerves while Mr. Syahril's assignment is just from the past year paper which is quite easy to do. And it is only 10 marks. So, not so difficult I can say.

Back to the title above, A promise that I can NEVER keep is that to STOP Shopping! no one can keep that promise. I might have promised my mother to not shop until Raya but I can't keep that promise. I bought something today. Hairclips and new bag. New sling bag. Yeah! I BOUGHT them that means I shop today. But, this was not my mistakes. It was NOT my fault. The bag, it was my mum's fault herself. The clips, yes it was mine. So, no arguments should be out for now. But but but....I still want to shop! Oh! come one man the Mega Sale is just starting!! OK! Marlysa, I think you better think of your studies now. Rather than thinking about shopping and buying stuff. Just STOP for a while! This is what I've always been saying to myself nowadays. I think it helps in some ways but not in other ways.

So, now! I have to get back to work. It is AFTA, WTO and WHO time!

Love,

MARL!

Dance With Father by Luther Vandros

Verse 1:
Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spend me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

Chorus:
If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love to dance with my father again

Verse 2:
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me(yeah, yeah)
Then finally make me do just what my momma said
Later that night, when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

Chorus:
If I could steal
One final glance
One final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love to dance with my father again

Verse 3:
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
I'd hear how my mother cried for him
(2x) I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream