300th

It is now 300th post.

I am Happy!

I'm OK by Christina Aguilera.

This Song really touched me. Listen to it!

Once upon a time there was a girl
In her early years she had to learn
How to grow up living in a war that she called home
Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm
Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face
Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place
Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room
Hoping it would be over soon

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt
When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built
Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door
The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"
Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done
To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

It's not so easy to forget
All the lines you left along her neck
When I was thrown against cold stairs
And every day I'm afraid to come home
In fear of what I might see there

Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK
I'm OK

Looking For Paradise by Alicia Keys and Alejandro Sanz

Everybody say oh oh oh oh

Driving in a fast car
Trying to get somewhere
Don´t know where I´m going
But i gotta get there

A veces me siento perdido
Inquieto, solo y confundido
Entonces me ato a las estrellas
Y al mundo entero le doy vueltas

I'm singing for somebody like you
Sorta like me baby
Yo canto para alguien como tú
Pon la oreja, nena

Oh oh oh ohÂ…

Estoy buscando ese momento
La música, que cuando llega
Me llena con su sentimiento
Con sentimiento, vida llena

Walking down the sideway
Looking for innocence
Trying to find my way
Trying to make some sense

Yo canto para alguien como tú
Sólo como tú, baby

I'm singing for somebody like you
What about you

I'm singing for someone
Someone like you
Tú, dime a quién le cantas
'Cause there's something about you there
Speaks to my heart
Speaks to my soul

I'm singing for someone
Sorta like you
Yo canto para alguien
Someone like you, someone like me
Sólo como tú, oh, my sister
Todo el mundo va buscando ese lugar
Looking for paradise

Oh oh oh ohÂ…

A ese corazón herido
La música le da sentido
Te damos con la voz tus alas
Le damos a tus pies camino

Oh is anybody out there
Feel like i feel
Trying to find a better way
So we can heal

I'm singing for somebody like you
Sorta like me baby
Yo canto para alguien como tú
Sólo como tú
What about you?

Yo canto para ti
I'm singing for someone
Yo canto para alguien
'Cause there's something about you there
Speaks to my heart
Speaks to my soul

I'm singing for someone
I'm singing
Sorta like you
Yo canto para alguien
Someone like you, someone like me
Sólo como tú, oh, my sister
Todo el mundo va buscando ese lugar
Looking for paradise

I Miss Him!

I MISS MY BROTHER SO MUCH!

SERIOUSLY MISS HIM!

I USUALLY DON'T SAY THIS..

BUT I REALLY DO MISS HIM

IT HAS BEEN 2 WEEKS SINCE I'M HOME

AND IT IS GOING TO BE 4 WEEKS

CAUSE I CAN'T GO HOME THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK.

HAKIM, I MISS YOU!

I'LL CALL YOU TONIGHT!!!

LOVE!

When You Yourself Fails.

It's hard for me to accept failure. That is the nature of me. I am the kind of person that will NOT take losing lightly. Especially when the thing that I lost at is the kind of thing that I used to win it. It will affect me really really badly. I know that we have to accept what ever that is given to us. But, this one I can't let it go. Even after 3 days, I can't still let it go away. Many of my friends questioned me why can't I let it go and I, honestly don't have the answers for that. It is within me. Easy way to say, IT IS INDESCRIBABLE. I know some of you might not understand my situation and some might say that I took this too seriously. Well, you are right. I do take this thing seriously cause I know that it is the one place that I can be recognised. Attention seeker is not me. But, yes it does feel good when people know you.

Frustration is another thing that slowed me down these few days. Frustration upon myself is the worse thing this week. The feeling of guilt is all over me these past two days. Guilt is a dangerous feeling for me cause somehow it affects people pretty seriously. Honestly, I FELT GUILTY that day. Thus, I became fragile at that moment. As soon as I lost the game, the feeling of guilt started to go all around me. Its like a monster coming towards me and said to my face that it is all my fault. Not just because of goals but because of other things. There are a-lot of things that go through my mind the moment I lost the game. Not just guilt from losing but other guilts. Some might say that I became really fragile at that time because I was worried for my reputation. Well, yes for a moment. Who don't? My reputation is out of the window as soon as people see 3 goals in one match. That is NOT a good record. Sorry coach, I let you down. My reputation before this was one goal for the whole tournament. That's how bad my performance for the last two days. 4 goals a day and that was not even until the semi-finals.

I do admit that I felt the burden all over me. But, that is normal. People put high hopes on you. People expect you can do your job well. People expect that you are the best. There are lots of expectations that I have to live up to and sadly, I did not managed to keep up to that. How frustrated do you think I will be at the time? No one can describe that. Some people might know the reason why I became so fragile that day, even I don't know the true reason. Fragile here is CRY! Yes, it is hard to see me cry but when I do, people will not know how to react.

What ever it is, I do hope that this will all go away. Its hard when me myself doesn't feel comfortable with my own self. So, please God! Help~

LOVE,

MARL~

:'(

RASA NAK NANGIS LAGI~~

Frustration Can Kill?

We can talk about frustration all day long. There are many kinds of frustration that we can talk about. And can frustration kill? We can kill frustration by distracting ourselves with other things but frustration can also kill people. It is an unseen weapon that is used by any other means.

We hear a-lot about love frustration. Most of the time, frustration that caused by love can kill people. They get really frustrated and that will kill their interest in living. They will give up pretty easily. There is when suicide happens. Frustration.

Frustration with yourself caused by your educations. Due to many things actually.

And now, I have no other ideas to put up for this frustration thing. So, I am not going to continue this entry. I need to stop now before I write stupid stuff.

Love,

MARL!

And We Escaped...Again

It is nearly a month or less we managed to escape from presenting our forum for class BEL 332. We were supposed to be Group 4 but unfortunately, we didn't make it due to health problems. Should I mention who? LOL! nahhhh.. Ok! Then, we should continue the next week that is the week before the holiday. And guess again.. We Escaped and again..health issues. We have been delaying it for 2 weeks now. Plus the week of holiday that makes it three weeks.

Then again, we were supposed to present TODAY! Guess again. WE ESCAPED from this one. The reason? Not health issues but car issues by our lecturer. So, we managed to escape from presenting the forum. What next? TOMORROW then. I hope that we can present it tomorrow or even NOT at all. Just gain the marks for free, I hope! But, we all know that thats NOT gonna happen.

So, we just have to wait for tomorrow then. The last group for forum. Hope it will be a blast to all and to us. Most importantly to our lecturer.

Love,

MARL!

Me.Now.

You've been living for 19 years, 6 months, and 11 days.
Find your exact age
You were born on a Monday.
What does your day of birth say about you?
Your date of conception was probably 23rd April 1990.
You've seen 5 leap years.
Your Zodiac Sign is Capricorn.
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Your Chinese Zodiac Sign is Horse.
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Your Ruling Planet is Saturn.
What does your ruling planet say about you?
Your Birthstone is Garnet.
What does your Birthstone say about you?
Your Birth Flower is Carnation.
What does your Birth Flower say about you?
Your Birth Tree is Elm Tree.
Your Birth Number is 8.
Find out the meaning of your Birth Number
Time till your next Birthday 172 days 7 hours 11 mins.
Birthday Countdown
Your Lucky Color is Brown or Green.
Your Lucky Day is Saturday.
Your Lucky Number is Eight.

Everybody has Secrets...And I Mean Dark.

Everybody has secrets. Secrets that can no one knows. I know everyone does have that. If you do not have those bad dark secrets. Make one now!

There are some people that I assume tell other people that they will tell anything to his/her friend. Everything. Her/His dark bad secrets. I do mean anything. But, I believe that there are some thing that cannot be shared with anyone. What is..? Even I cannot answer that. I already said that everyone has bad and dark secrets. Secrets that you can't even tell your parents even worse your friends.

Even though there are people that tell everything to another, they will end up losing each other's trust. I saw this before. At the end, they not just lose their trust, they even lose their friendship because of secrets that can bring harm to us back. As I said, there are some things that we can't even share it with people. Secrets that need to be kept to yourself.

I believe that Dark and Bad secrets can only bring harm to ourself. That is why it is call as bad and dark secrets. If it's good and white secrets. Fine then! But, this one. No! You are not allowed to share it with anyone. I do mean anyone. Just keep it to yourself. Trust is one thing but still, some you just have to keep it to yourself.

People like to feel like they have friends who they can trust. I am not saying that we cannot trust anyone. But, there is a limit to everything. Put a limit to yourself on how much you want your close friends to know. Put a limit to yourself on how much you want your family to know. You need those limits. Don't deny it because it is true no matter what. Don't ever try to deny it because you might not see it now but you will see in later. Trust me.

Love,

MARL!